I have been playing The Sims since Saturday and it just not working out.

I have only heard wonderful things about the game, friends of mine have played and come forth with stories of social and financial succes and accounts of all the wild possesions their Sim owns.

Well, diary, let me tell you how it has gone for me.

My first Sim has a blonde head similar to my own and wears a ripped grey, v-neck T-shirt a black mini skirt, green stockings that are also ripped and a pair of black converse-looking sneakers. She is very hip as you can tell.

I named her Sissy Prozac (which I think is the name of a band) because that is what I name any and all video games characters I commandeer. I did this under the notion of "What's in a name?"

Well I will have to tell you What's in a name. The girl got a great job as a Pyschic Friend but refused to go to it because she was depressed, I told her to read the newspaper but she won't...because she's too depressed.

She complains about the quality of her furniture so I get her better furniture and she gets burgularized...twice.

She wets herself, she goes outside and has stomping fits about swarms of red ants, she refuses to clean up after herself and always seems to be hungry.

So I read in the game instructions that the most important thing to Sims are social relationships and that if there is no one suitable in the neighborhood you should build another family or something. So I build a bachelor so that she can have a boyfriend. He was doing very well for a while, he kept getting promoted at his job and he had a lot of expendable income so I traded in his barbeque and got him a stove. Well he was cooking while was tired and died in the fire that ensued.

Now Sissy is worse off than ever.

And the worst part is that now I am seeing my own life in terms of the game and it is alot like the life of Sissy.

For instance, although I rarely, if ever wet myself I am constantly forgetting to urinate.

I rarely clean up after myself. I don't keep a normal sleeping schedule. I am restless and have bad hygiene, I get upset about things instead of seeking solutions or realizing that I have no control, Sissy has the red ants, I have the freeway.

I am now wondering that when/if Sissy's live improves if mine will too. Will Sissy teach me all the life lessons I have not yet learned? And if so, am I going to be "okay" with that?

I am also wondering if I should smash up the CD-ROM and throw it in the street to be destroyed by the heavy cul-de-sac traffic.

I have a feeling that the secret to a succesful life is yet to be uncovered in The Sims, Deluxe Edition.

You whose fault this is don't you diary? Yes that's right, Kim Harvey again. She spent an entire mealtime once selling me on how great these "Sims" are. It's the Moldy Peaches all over again.

13 October 2002 - 10:09 PM

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