I am starting to believe in my dreams so much that I don't get out of bed when I should because I think I am already awake. When the alarm goes off, I think, "oh, why is that going off? I am already up." And then I physically reach over and turn it off in real life. Most days like that I don't rise until 8:30 am with a 9 am departure time which, by my calculations, would ideally have me up and out of bed at 7:30 so that there is plenty of time for wasting before I have to go. Needless to say, an 8:30 waking is a problem.

Another time, I was dreaming that I was waiting for approval on something before I could go anywhere or do anything, like, maybe I was waiting for my boss to call and the alarm kept going off but I couldn't get up because I was waiting for that call. I kept reaching over and hitting snooze, thinking he would call soon until finally something clicked and I thought, "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING??" That day I didn't rise until 9 am with a 9 am departure time!!! Can you believe it I can't believe it!

This needs to stop happening and it needs to stop happening now.

My advice to anyone out there who struggles in their youth...don't believe in your dreams, in fact, disregard them altogether.

12 November 2003 - 12:38 PM

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