So sometimes when I am thinking I think real sentences. They are structured conversationally and I could say them aloud and people would understand. I hear them in my own voice, etc. These are very clear thoughts if only a stream of consciousness. I often think this way when I am constructing some kind of personal theory. It is never intentional.

I have another way of thinking which is just impulses. Things that other people have said to me fire off in no particular order in the sound of their voices. Ideas bounce off of those. Memories. Things I was supposed to do. Things that happened on this same day a year ago. Past causes, past effects. Mistakes I made. Occasionally an alarm will go off reminding me of something that needs immediate action and go ahead with that but still everything else is sloshing around in my head.

Does this mean I am schizophrenic? Zelda Fitzgerald was...reading her book, you start to think the same about herself. I find her to actually be quite poetic and artistic. I think in more modern times she wouldn't have been locked away.

Granted I've only heard one side of the story.

09 December 2004 - 1:19 PM

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