Last night around 11:30 as I was walking down 4th Street downtown a minivan driven by a man of Latino decent slowed down next to me. For a moment I thought I recognized him as this very nice man who works in my office building so I stopped and faced him. Shortly, thereafter I realized he was just trying to pick me up for sex.

Sir, let's deconstruct the situation.

Me: 26, dressed conservatively-ish in a green t-shirt and jeans. My shoes were from the Rite Aid near Big Bear (since all Rite Aids in the LA metro area have sold out of my footwear). I was carrying two faux-leather bags filled to the brim with things like, licorice ropes, gum, extra clothes for work, books, various other sundries. My body was free from major flaws and again, I wasn't wearing any kind of lycra or lucite heel. So...

You: 40+. Dressed in...well you were shirtless, couldn't see the rest of you so I hope there were pants involved. Most likely there weren't. Your mini-van was filled with...female carcasses, not sure. Either way, the picture painted wasn't one to invite me in.

Anyway, as you can see. The two of us, well, it wouldn't have worked romantically. Maybe you had other plans for us?

So that happened.

Before that I had been at The Dodger Game with Daniel and Brenda and the three of us really lived it up. Rode bikes there, ate contraband, (cracked pepper turkey sandwiches with Muenster cheese on bagels and potato salad. I also made deviled eggs but they looked entirely disgusting by the time we sat down. Not even Daniel would eat one and you know how he is.) We drank BudLite out of plastic bottles! When I tried to use a licorice stick as a straw to drink the beer Daniel drew the line. He said that was something for the college dorm.

Oh well. I am bored out of face right now.

12 August 2005 - 11:22 AM

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