Oh, brother!

when i first began this diary way back in two thousand and two i was obsessed with a concept i had named "the mid-twenties life crisis" after my inability to sleep or stop worrying after i had been let loose from shelter, college, safety net. there is no way to regain the comfort you had if you were ever part of a stronghold of a family the way i was. i say stronghold because we seemed to defy the inertia pulling every other family apart ...possibly only out of stubbornness. because we're stubborn if anything.

but i worried constantly. never slept through the night and only at intervals have a slept through a night since. [this isn't uncharacteristic for me. i was raised catholic and spent most nights praying for my soul to be savedfrom the devil falling asleep only with my hands clasped together and my fingers crossed for extra security that i wouldn't end up in hell somehow while i slept. (yay religion!)]

Anyway, oddly enough, today i came across a banner as for something called a "quarter-life crisis." i ran it by wikipedia and it seems that right about the time i was acutely suffering from this affliction books were being written about. my lack of internet savvy at the time prevented me from ever gaining more insight about it. now i'm full circle...being able to enter into this diary the wikipedia definition of the very reason i have relied so emotionally upon it for so many years on end.

i am the textbook quarter-life crisis victim minus the premature desire to have children.

only having read the wikipedia, i'm left to wonder what natural instincts this crisis is replacing in modern society. people used to marry much younger not so long ago... is it residual anxiety?

20 December 2007 - 10:12 PM

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Oh, brother.