We were forced from the urban center out over the hill to the Valley where we attempted a bowl at another consolation alley. But it would not be, no, no it would not. We are not going to Cosmic bowl. We are not those kinds of people. We are snobby and need to be around other snobs, or people with higher standards, if you will. I will not be teased into sitting through an evening of Creed music and the like by any twinkling light show or glow-in-the-dark bowling pins. Its not going to happen and I resent the notion that it would.

This evening after I returned home from rumaging around Hollywood with Harvey and then Santa Monica with Fred, I baked cookies for my mother and father. They love cookies. They will never tire of the Nestle Tollhouse recipe. I felt guilty though because I had intended to boycott Nestle due to their involvement in the malnourishment of children in the Third World. That, AND I figured out that my mother never loved Fred and I. Do you want to know why? Because as I went to measure out the flour for the recipe I realized the Tupperware container contained bleached flour and what was sitting in the powdery substance but a red scoop that said "all" on the bottom of it, as in "Momma gets it out with A-L-L." A LAUNDRY DETERGENT SCOOP! Of all the things she could have improvised from she chose a laundry detergent scoop. She was trying to maime us with a death potion of bleach and laundry detergent. But we fooled her, we survived, we aren't even that deformed as a result. Silly Mom, thinks she is so smart...which reminds me of a song we used to sing, it goes something like this:

"I LOVE BOSCO, ITS FULL OF ENERGY;

AND MOMMY PUTS IT IN MY MILK TO TRY AND POISON ME.

BUT I TRICKED MOMMY AND PUT IT IN HER TEA,

AND NOW I HAVE NO MOMMY TO TRY AND POISON ME!"

Bosco, for those who don't know, is a chocolate powder for mixing into milk.

15 September 2002 - 10:06 PM

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