That's right...guns!!!Two of them.

Apparently, one of my shithead bourgeois neighbors called the cops when she saw Brian and Jeff on the back porch thinking they were burglars. Yes on OUR backporch!

The LAPD went so far as to have helicopter fly to my apartment hosue and drop one of their guys on my roof. This man proceeded to peer in our kitchen window and scream at us, "Get away from the window!!" So I looked out the bedroom window to find 4-5 guns pointing at me from behind the shithead bourgeois neighbors' Range Rover and professionally groomed schrubbery. There was a voice from nowhere that kept saying, "This is the Sheriff's department, come out with your hands up." I answered back to the voice, and an overweight cop scurrying up the front walk, "Hey, want to tell us who you are talking to you?" My shouts were acknowledged with a glance in my direction, but apparently they did not want to tell me who they were talking to.

Well by that point I had had enough and called 9-1-1 to report that my apartment house was surrounded by at least 10 men with guns. While the 9-1-1 operator I spoke to put me on hold I listened to a friendly male voice saying, "you have called 9-1-1 emergency, please stay on the line, blah blah blah." Brian then called 9-1-1 from the house phone and they told him that we had better go outside because these men with guns were waiting for US! Brian then expressed reluctance to go downstairs due to the excessive force that would of course be waiting for us, he told the 9-1-1 operator to ask these men not to shoot us when we opened the door, afterall this was the LAPD we were dealing with, we had to cover all our bases.

So we went downstairs, and met our fate of police violence. I was grabbed by two officers, with two guns, one for each shoulder blade, Brian and Jeff got one cop/gun each. I immediately started to cry and shake until my knees gave out and on of the cops who had acosted me had to tenderly break my fall and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I was screaming like a crack whore on COPS, "We didn't do anything!" "We live here!" "Why are you doing this?" "Don't kill us, we didn't do anything, don't kill us." I was told to calm down and asked my name, which is Molly. "Okay Polly, just calm down everything is okay." "It's Molly." "Okay Polly, just sit down for me." "My name is Molly!" "Okay Holly, don't worry." Here is when Brian interjected, "It's Molly...her name is Molly!" "Okay...Polly...." What a mess, they must have blown out their eardrums while preparing for the violence they would bring to the world at the shooting range.

So I was then accused of being on drugs and told that cops don't like to be lied to. I replied that I didn't like to have guns in my back or handcuffs on. Then I was asked to produce a copy of my lease, to which I replied that it would be difficult to sift through papers with a pair of handcuffs on.

After an hour of being detained, I was set free to rub my skinned wrists. Brian and Jeff had to stay in the cuffs longer under the susupicion that they had tried to take me hostage. Ha! That's rich!

Now it is clear that I have been right all along about the cops. They are unpredictable like old guns, not all of their components and some are stuck and there's just not telling what will trigger them. I have done many a thing to warrant police intervention, even excessive force, and never had the pleasure of experiencing that until Wednesday night when I was asleep in my bed and accused of robbery.

Fuckfaces...I'm suing.

And now I would like to take us out with a song by the old Offspring. It's called LAPD and goes something like this, "Kill all the white trash, Kill whoever you see." "Don't need a reason." "LAPD" "LAPD" "LAPD"

01 March 2003 - 8:21 PM

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