I am an awful cook. AWFUL!

Most often when preparing food, I prepare food that is inedible. Tonight I prepared my favorite spaghetti sauce, consisting of all available vegetables in the refridgerator as well as tabasco, sugar, pepper and hot chilis. I made this dish many a time with many a varying ingredient and yet never has it been so inedible as tonight.

The first bite was coughed out due to an unbearable amount of hot chilis. I used three in total thinking that was a modest amount but no it is not. I nearly dropped the bowl on the ground when I got up to run for a glass of water. We all know that is not an effective treatment for a burning mouth but water is what we immediatly think of. I then remembered that bread might quell the pain and I tore into a new bag of bread stuffing slice after slice into my mouth in much the same fashion as I once saw a women on Victory Blvd. doing with Wonderbread. (My bread was organic whole wheat and I wasn't in the care so on those grounds I am not due any of the ridicule I paid that woman.)

As I type I am making a second attempt on dinner.

It is probably burnt.

In other news, I have found the perfect metaphor to describe my job. It's like, I am driving a car down a main thoroughfair, and everyone else, my boss, my bands, my contacts are standing on the sidewalk waiting to cross. However, they are not waiting at the crosswalk they are planning to j-walk behind a blind corner. So I have come to expect that they will be doing this, hiding around the corner waiting to potentially dart out in front of me and cause me to mow them down. I make every effort to drive carefully and slowly, yet at a reasonalbe speed. But they know I am coming, I go by everyday at the same time, everyone is aware of what is going on but one day I hit one of them by accident and they're like, "Dude, why'd you hit me?" Though they obviously could have taken measures to avoid being mowed down but do they?

No, they don't. So next time I am going to say, "Dude, why don't cross at the crosswalk? Or look out?"

Yeah...that's what I'll do.

03 March 2003 - 9:06 PM

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