"MOLLY!!! GUESS WHAT I HEARD!?!?!?!"

Normally these outburts drain much more energy as a listener than they actually put back in. I answered as I've learned to with minimal interest, volumne, or inflection, "what did you hear?"

"Well remember your grandpa's sister Katherine???"

"No."

"Sure you do. She had that niece Mary Kaye. She had two little pig tails and always wore tap shoes. I brought you to their house in Maryland when you were about 3 or 4. Remember??? They had that neighbor named Agnus."

"Not really."

"MOLLY! Are you sure??? You HAVE to remember. JOHN! You remember..."

5 minutes later she was still insisting that we had any idea what she was talking about. Finally my dad brought the desparate shreiking to an end. "PATTY! Get to the point or STOP TALKING."

She feigned hurt feelings and with her put-on New York accent said, "you never let me say nothin'." At that point I was about ready to open the door and jump out into the charred landscape of inland Southern California at 70 mph. Really, I was. It would have also been nice to have been struck by lightening or have someone simply drive up and shoot me in the side of the head. But, per usual, the simplest of wishes couldn't, wouldn't be granted.

It's not that I don't admire my mom and respect her for everything she has done, for me and in general but I just can't be a party to her desperation for approval. I am really closed off to that, I wish I could be bigger about it but I think the only thing that will help her is facing reality. That reality being that we are not a Norman Rockwell family that goes to church or sings around the piano together. We have never gone to each other for support and we don't talk openly or comfortably about our lives or opinions. The thing that gets me is that we never have been that kind of family but now she spends every moment we all have together trying to force something that wasn't ever there and that doesn't need to be there. Its as though she forgot who we are.

Ten minutes of argument later and I found out that my grandpa's sister's grandson is married to my favorite super-star celebrity of all time, Melissa Joan Hart!!! Now there is some information I can work with!! She is so classy and I am honored to welcome her into a remote corner of my extended family.

I also found out that my mom has been selling jewelry out of the back of her car in the parking lot of the school where she works.

27 January 2003 - 10:44 AM

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