I now equate Hawaiians with Spaniards for the capacity on the part of both cultures to be entirely unhelpful and in general, assholes. Not that I didn't enjoy my trip to Hawaii but those locals are full of shit. Everytime I asked someone even the simplest question they purported to have no idea what I was talking about. For example, one night in a restaurant I asked to see a wine list and I was asked, "why?"

Once I explained, they answered, "Ummm, well okay, let me check." They returned to tell me that yes, they did have a wine list. Oh really? How interesting a restaurant with a wine list. Thanks for the info. But that's just how it was. Or we would get into a cab and say were we wanted to go and then maybe ask how far away it was to which we were informed, "pretty far." Oh yeah? Pretty far huh? So, how long would you say it would take? "Oh about 2 miles." 20 minutes later we would arrive. Oh, and these people spoke perfect English.

When I tried to return home last night, I was informed at the Hilo airport that they had given my seat away. Well, apparently I am the asshole, because when I explained that I would need it back in order to catch my connection out of Honolulu they stared me down and decided that they would have to do a special inspection of my bag and corral me in a special security area where I would wait 15 minutes for someone to come and thoroughly search me though I was wearing all of a pair of flip flops, a skirt with no pockets and a tank top.

Other than dealing with perverse ignorance, the trip was extremely enjoyable. I went to the very edge of the world and peered into an active volcano and when I did I saw God sitting in there and he waved at me and said, "Hi Molly. How are you? You'll notice that I am having your wisdom teeth grow in." It was a nice feeling, if not entirely terrifying. Then I went into the rainforest and swung from vines. Then I went into another rainforest and swung from vines there too and then I climbed up the walls of a lava tube and then jumped off and splashed mud all over my fellow tourists but nobody seemed to mind because they were already covered in mud. I did that a number of times on the trip. My reasoning was, "Its Hawaii, everything here in clean and natural." (I would never touch a puddle in Los Angeles, not even with my car tire.) I also swam and watched the sunset and ate shave ice and pineapple and bought a number of smooshed pennies. Tara bought a leather bound smooshed penny display book and I am insanely jealous of it. I should have gotten one but I could see myself throwing it out in a fit in about 3 weeks. I never really buy anything anymore because I always go nuts and decided that I hate all of my stuff and get rid of it only to want it back in another 3 weeks. Its just so hard being me.

In more recent news, I am going to Japan in March. I really really am and its going to be off the hook. I kid you not. I really really don't.

Aloha! Mahalo! Hawai'i is noko oi!

05 January 2004 - 1:47 PM

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