It might be beneficial though. I would emerge from it a changed person which is something I could definitely stand. Lately, I have found my priorities to be so different from the priorities of everyone else I am close to.

Is it me or them? Or is it really anybody?

I just don't understand how I am supposed to fill up an entire lifetime with this nonsense.

Its strange, I was always considered to be so vulnerable and to wear my heart on my sleeve but as it turns out, I am actually very cold and too proud to be vulnerable. I rarely accept help from others, I rarely even let on that help might be needed. Others are this way, I am not the only one of course.

This seems to be a common thread amongst drug addicts and alcoholics, they think they don't need anyone or, at least, they don't want anyone. My saving grace is that I am so flakey I could never make a habit out of anything. I've been trying to start up a smoking habit since October and I still can't seem to get the ball rolling.

07 January 2004 - 9:55 PM

previous * next