An honest recounting of my actual reaction was relayed over IM, I said I was "astonished, completely caught off guard and definitely flattered." KH told me that was very diplomatic. I told her its because my granddaddy was a diplomat by profession, its in the blood.

But wow! Flowers for me! They were from a boy, yes, however the boy is a friend, a very nice, considerate, supportive friend. They actually warmed this cold, cold heart I've been carrying around in my chest. They also sufficed to keep me from focusing on my work for the rest of the day which is fine because the cat was away today at the Sundance Film Festival. La-dee-dah, no?

But on the way home reality struck. A girl pulled up next to me in my dream car just as content as she could be. "oh look at me in my white, 1986 or so Volvo sedan, aren't I so content??" And wistfully I mouthed in her direction, "Yes, yes you are so content, aren't you?" She didn't look my way but if she had I would have pretended to be singing in the car which is normally something I try to cover up, if caught, by pretending to be chewing gum. In this case singing was the lesser of the two evils.

The thing is this weekend after the sleepover party, KH allowed me to drive her similar, burgundy, 1985 Volvo sedan of which I am insanely jealous. The votes are in, I am getting rid of my pick up truck, and how! It is so unfeminine and does not make me feel like I am on vacation in another time period at all, not like KH's car does. If I had KH's car I would be a made woman I think. You see, its the same way I love it when it rains, its like being on a entirely different planet, maybe Venus because I hear it rains there most of the time. It never rains in Southern California but when it does its more delicious than any rain that has ever fallen anywhere else. Whenever it rains I get all crazy and fawn over every little nuance. "Oh wow! Look at that church in the rain, how cute!" "Doesn't the empty cement riverbed of the Los Angeles river look so majestic in the rain." Its truly a magical thing. It truly, truly is.

Basically what I'm after is a slight change of scenery, or, not so much that as a change in the frame around the scenery. I am expected to spend so much time in the car and for the better part of seven years, going on eight (yikes, I'm old as dirt,) I have looked out at the cities I lived in from the windows of a 1996 Ford Ranger XLT. I MUST HAVE A VOLVO! That is, if I am ever going to move forward with my life. It is inapropriate for a woman of my age to be driving around in the same pick up truck she's had since she was 17.

Maybe it will be stolen. Lately I have known two people who have had their cars stolen. On both occasions I found out over Instant Messenger, thankfully, otherwise they would have heard me laughing. I don't know why but it strikes me as funny when cars are stolen. Its just such a large thing to have stolen, and besides we park them outside on the street, we should just assume that they will be stolen.

Maybe if said cars weren't complete and utter piles of garbage I would feel differently. Tom A has a nice car, I would feel sorry if it were stolen.

And one last thing? I have named a new theme song in my life, this will replace "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton which was the favored selection since a few weeks before Xmas. I am pleased to name Belle and Sebastian's "Sleep the Clock Around" from their hit LP, "The Boy With The Arab Strap" as my new theme song, shall it reign indefinitely!!

Here! Here!

20 January 2004 - 7:32 PM

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