This year particularly because I wanted to see who would use their spotlight to speak out against the war. In the restaurant where I was eating dinner Michael Moore was booed during his acceptance speech, my hands started shaking and I was so tempted to pick up my salt shaker and bash it into the side of that person's head. Of course I didn't but I did clap for Michael Moore and what he was saying. Maybe if that person spent less time being a fucking meathead some kind of information might sink into his brain. That person also booed that actor from Y Tu Mama Tambien ect... because he is a "fag." This man showcased his intelligence in a big way with the phrase, "dude...fuck that guy he's a fag."

Anyway, celebrities are interesting to me, I'd be a liar if I said otherwise. I am "like that."

Earlier in the day I called my parents to postpone their visit so that I could attend the anti-war demonstration on Sunset and Orange. Then at dinner my dad asked me what exactly I was protesting I was surprised that was not apparent but as I explained it became clear to me that he was worried that I was not supporting the troops. Although I don't feel very sorry for people who volunteered to become trained killers, I don't wish them dead. I want them to come home because I don't agree with the reasons that they are there.

He said to me that I would be screaming for assistance if the bombs ever fell here. I told him that is why I am out there to call attention to the fact that the bombs aren't falling here and maybe the people of this country wouldn't be as comfortable with this war if they were.

My dad was drafted into the Vietnam war and was mobbed by demonstrators when he stepped off the plane after being in the jungle for a year fighting a war that he didn't agree with. As soon as he could get into civilian clothes he threw his uniform away in a dumpster. He thinks that protestors don't understand all of the issues and in the instance that he was not supported by his peers those people weren't differentiating where they should have been. That was not fair.

I've spent a good deal of my time imagining the anger he must have felt. That story is a source of guilt for me when I think about expressing my views because I know how demonstrations can be misconstrued and how propaganda cuts both ways. I just don't think war is the right choice for these problems. I don't think that the reasons for this war are honest or have been fully explained. Its a disagreement between members of governments who seem to be out for personal gain so let them fight it at their own expense. I'd rather see my tax dollars be spent here in my country on programs that will benefit the people here. It is not that I don't want that money to be spent repairing the damage our government has made in other countries but I don't think the damage should have been done in the first place.

I am scared to see the human, environmental and economic tolls of THIS war.

Although this sentence was proven grammatically incorrect once by a broken plate I will use it here where no one who cares will see it, "FIGHT WAR...NOT WARS."

23 March 2003 - 9:28 PM

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